Having Ambivalent Feelings Towards Homosexuality

Before we start, I have to admit this view of engeedees (NGD’s of nerd/geeks/dorks/dweebs) is based on my childhood from the 70s. And views on homosexuality has progressed in the three decades since. Therefore, younger engeedees might, indeed, be and probably are, less ambivalent towards homosexuality than the engeedees I write about here.

And while I’m at it – if anyone younger, of a different race or sex, etc., is reading this and would like to contribute this blog, I would be grateful. Or even if you’re not any of those! As is obvious by the scarcity in number and frequency of posts, I don’t put as much time into this blog as I would like. The first post provides all the information. And you will be fully credited, and I will be happy to provide a link in the piece as well as on the side bar from your own blog, website, Facebook page, MySpace page or whatever you would like – or don’t want. - OlderMusicGeek

Engeedees (NGD’s of nerd/geeks/dorks/dweebs) tend to be quite liberal on issues. I won’t argue that there aren’t conservative engeedees, because there are. But for the most part, engeedees are liberals, and tend to be VERY liberal.

Therefore, they tend to have a pretty lax attitude towards homosexuality. They figure what consenting individuals do in their bedroom is their own business. Today, I’m willing to bet most engeedees support same-sex marriage.

On the other hand, though, engeedees have some negative feelings about homosexuality.

Engeedees, you see, have a very fragile grip on their manhood. Well, at least, the male ones do.

It’s not like they’re into and do many manly types activivites.

I mean engeedees tend not to be in sports and even like watching sports. A few do. Some math nerds go ga-ga over baseball statistics. But as a general rule, engeedees and sports don’t go together.

And though you can find exceptions, engeedees generally aren’t into, say, camping, fitness, cars, getting drunk regularly. And they really can’t do much talking with the boys about how they did so-and-so with such-and-such girl.

Plus, many of them do not have a girlfriend and don’t get one for quite a while. A lot don’t even go on dates until after high school.

Therefore, if they are accused of, or just called, gay, they don’t have much of a way of denying it.

And, ideally, being called gay shouldn’t matter – since there is nothing wrong with being gay. "Not that there's anything wrong with that."

But it does matter. The people calling them gay - some who may believe it, though some just use it as a taunt – are using it to mock them and their manhood. To say that they’re not real men.

Yes, it’s nonsense. There are plenty of manly men who are gay, Marines, truckdrivers, football players, etc. These men usually do not come out for quite some time, if ever. A large number of the gay men who are out are the more feminine ones.

And the engeedees, not having much to demonstrate their manliness with, do not obviously like or feel comfortable being compared to those gay men.

Of course, if they think it through, which engeedees are inclined to do, they know it’s the name-callers and not homosexuals they should be mad at. But feelings aren’t rational, and so – although they tend to be strong supporters of gay rights and people being allowed to express themselves freely – they still end up with some negative feelings towards homosexuals.

Collecting Comic Books

In this post, I am going to only talk about the collecting habits of the engeedees (ngd's or nerd/geeks/dorks/dweebs). I will save the discussion of the reading habits for another time.

And although I will be talking mostly about the comic book collectors, a lot of what I say will also be true for other collectors, like those of movie and tv show magazines, horror magazines, science fiction books, fantasy books, etc.

The first and most essential thing is collecting comics is the condition of the book.

The condition of comic books is divided into many different grades such as mint (m), near mint (NM), very fine-near mint (VFNM), very fine (VF), fine-very fine (FVF), fine(F), very good-fine(VGF), very good(VG), good-very good(GVG), good(G), fair-good(FRG), fair(FR), poor-fair(PFR), poor(P).

And for some reason collectors feel the difference between these are of extreme importance! The truth is, though, almost 90% of the collectors will not buy any comic in a condition of less than near mints, so all the other conditions are pretty much pointless.

And these collectors will go to great lengths to keep their comics in mint condition.

The first thing, of course, is to make sure your comic is in a specially designed comic book mylar bag so to keep it from yellowing.

The second thing to do is put a piece of cardboard behind it to keep your precious comic from bending and having its spine cracked.

Then if you're really fanatical, uh I mean, careful, you make every other comic face the other direction so the spines of the comics are pushing on each other.

Then you put your comics in specially designed cardboard whose dimensions are designed to make sure your comic books are sitting up straight and aren't flopping or bending.

But this isn't all they do to protect their precious comics!

Some will buy two copies of their comics. One to read and one to put away. That way one copy can't be hurt in any way.

But don't think they'll be careless with the other copy. No, it must still be read in the proper manner, meaning no flattening of the spine, no bending the comic over, making sure your fingers are clean and not wet, among other things!

In fact, you can now hire a group of people who will grade your comic and put it in hard plastic. Then you can sell it as guaranteed at that grade.

And people buy these comics, don't open them, don't read them, and just own them with pride.

And the purpose of all this is so they can sell these comic books at high prices.

Do they end up doing this? Usually no.

What usually happens is that they sit in the collector's basement - or his parent's basement - gathering dust. Occasionally, the collector will have to sell them. And he'll end having to sell them in bulk at prices less than he paid for them to the local comic shop.

Living In One's Mother's Basement

For many engeedees (NGD's or nerds/geeks/dorks/dweebs), the leaving of the nest comes at a very late age, sometimes not until their 50s.

While in their youth, many engeedees will live on the main floor. But like even non-engeedees, as they get older, they want a more private space. For non-engeedees, this is often to get away with more with the opposite sex. Engeedees dream of this, but the more realistic don't expect it.

For some engeedees, this arrangement ends when they go do college. But some will go to school nearby and continue to live in the basement. Others after finishing college will move right back in again.

In homes with fathers, this is less likely. Fathers tend to make them get out and start their lives. But if the father is more submissive, he'll go along with the mother, although there will probably be some grumbling about it if not out-and-out arguments.

If the engeedee is living with the mother, there is a strong possibility that the engeedee can live in the basement for many years, if not a couple of decades.

The reasons for this are numerous. But the main one is it's easier. No rent. Mom usually cooks - most engeedees did not know how to cook and use the microwave for most of their cooking. The engeedee often gets away without cleaning or helping around the house. The engeedee can keep his worthless job that doesn't bring in much pay AND use almost all of it on things like comics, dvd's, and electronic games.

Eventually though, the engeedee does seem to finally move out.

The main cause of this is usually because the engeedee has finally, somehow, landed him a woman. And the mother, as it's her home, has no qualms about disturbing the engeedee's privacy.

Also, sometimes the engeedee gets fed up with the rules. He feels if he wants to come in at 4 in the morning after playing Dungeons and Dragons, he should be able to!

And occasionally, the mother actually gets fed up with engeedee, and sees how much freedom her friends have with their kids gone. And decides it's her time for that fun and freedom.

Befriending And Being A Confidante For One’s Crush

Sadly, but unfortunately, this is an activity that many engeedee's (NGD's or nerds/dorks/geeks) engaged it.

They meet someone that have the hugest crush on. To them, this person is the be-all and end-all of the opposite sex. The perfect soulmate.

The fact that the crush would never date a person like the engeedee doesn't matter. The engeedee knows better than the crush anyway!

Since the engeedee is too afraid to ask the crush out - for fear of rejection - which, unfortunately, is usually NOT a groundless fear. The crush would - and does - reject any advances the engeedee would - or does - make!

But as I was saying, as the engeedee is too afraid to ask the crush out, the engeedee tries and settles for being a friend of the crush. Which, quite frankly, is just the way the crush likes it!

If the engeedee is a male, he basically becomes another girlfriend or the equivalent of a gay friend for the girl. She doesn't really see him as a sexual person. That's why she is so comfortable with him, and willing to tell him all her secrets. He's a safe male to her.

And if he tries to suggest something romantic, she just laughs it off.

I'm not 100% certain what the situation is like when the engeedee is a female and the crush male. But if tv shows and movies are any indication, it's not good. They show the crush putting up with the engeedee because he likes the attention. And he uses her for as much as he can get out of her. And then laughs at her if she suggests there is anything romantic.

And truth be told, the female crush often makes use of the male engeedee, getting him to do things for her to stay in her good graces.

To close, I must say this in the crushes' defense, they couldn't use the engeedees, if they didn't let them. If you had someone constantly throwing themselves at you, wouldn't you be tempted to make use of them?

About

This is, of course, a blog about nerds, geeks, and dorks - or as I sometimes called them ngd's or engeedees.

I know there is a difference between the three, but for the purpose of this blog, we will not dwelve into that. For those of you curious, here are some links...

The Rawness: Nerds, Geeks and Dorks: A Primer
Ask Yahoo: What's the difference between a nerd, a geek, and a dork?
Ask Metafilter: What's the difference between a geek, a nerd and a dork?

OkCupid test to see if you're a nerd, geek, or dork
A test from NerdTests.com to see how much of a nerd, geek and dork you are

This blog will hopefully be a study on what activities and things engeedees engage in. And although it is called Dorktivities, it will study the activities of nerds, geeks and dorks.

This column was inspired the blog, Stuff White People Like. But I didn't want to write just about the stuff engeedees like. Then I found the blog, Mantivities! A blog about "activities that Men do".

Then I knew what my blog needed to be. I kind of considered it a companion or sister blog to Mantivities. While Mantivities covers what Manly Men do, my blog will cover what the other men do.

I have to admit, I don't know how often I will be posting on here. I already have a regular blog I do and two "irregular" blogs associated with it. Plus, my Twitter account.

But I feel this is a blog that needs to be done, so I'm open to submissions. Feel free to send your new and old descriptions of activities that nerds, geeks, and dorks engage in. If you want to get an idea of what I'm looking for, check out our sister blog, Mantivities. But your entries can be longer. But I prefer entries NOT take longer than 10 minutes to read.

Also, if you do submit, I will be happy to put your name under the title - though you can be anonymous if you like - and provide a link to any of your websites. And all the writers will be listed on the side with a link to whatever sight they'd like to be linked to.

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at oldermusicgeek(at)yahoo(dot)com!

If you wish to know more about engeedees - nerds, geeks and dorks - I recommend the following...

Books:
Kick Me: Adventures In Adolescence by Paul Feig
American Nerd by Benjamin Nugent
Nerds: Who They Are and Why We Need More of Them by David Anderegg

DVD's:
Freaks And Geeks
Big Bang Theory
Square Pegs
Lucas
Superbad
Napoleon Dynamite
Mean Girls
Joan Of Arcadia
Dexter's Laboratory
The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
Chuck
Never Been Kissed
The Fairly OddParents
Glee


CD's
Violent Femmes by Violent Femmes
My Aim Is True by Elvis Costello
Talking Head 77 by Talking Head
More Songs About Building And Food by Talking Heads
Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo! by Devo
The Presidents Of The United States Of America by The Presidents Of The United States Of America
The Presidents Of The United States Of America II by The Presidents Of The United States Of America
Gordon by Barenaked Ladies
Any cd by They Might Be Giants

If you have any suggestions for this list, feel free to send them to me at oldermusicgeek(at)yahoo(dot)com.